4 TENDER SOULS... Their Story - PART II

2005…

In January of 2005, and because of the ectopic pregnancy the previous August, the doctor monitored Stacie very closely. So when Stacie started to have signs and symptoms that could threaten another miscarriage, the doctor made the decision to put her on bed rest. This meant that Stacie would have to quit her full time job and that we would lose our benefits and insurance. To say that we were a little concerned would be quite an understatement! How were we going to make it several more months with Stacie being pregnant having no insurance and losing a big source of our income?!  

Reed's new job, although part time, was able to give him a few more hours each week. We also made the decision to sell one of our cars and Reed would just have to walk to school each day, and also to work when needed. We were also fortunate enough at the time to be managers of some student housing apartments. It was a great opportunity and experience for us and we were able to get through some tough times because of some of the benefits it had. We were able to have some assistance with managing the apartments because we knew the previous managers; in fact we are related to them. Todd and Alison (Alison is Reed’s older sister) were managers before us and were always willing to train us and help us out when things became difficult. But it’s when things became difficult for them that they helped us the most.

We were extra excited about being pregnant because Alison was also pregnant and was due only 10 weeks ahead from Stacie! We were both pregnant with boys, the first grandsons/nephews on all sides of the families, so there was a lot of excitement from everyone! There was great anticipation that these two first boys would be so close in age and have the chance to be great buddies.

We were on a trip with Stacie’s family in April when we received a call from Alison with devastating news… She had been having some complications and ended up having to have an emergency C-section about 5 weeks prior to her due date. She delivered her baby boy (whom they named Brandon) but he was very, very sick and they had to transport him up to Primary Children’s Hospital. She told us that we should not worry about them and to just enjoy the rest of our trip.

When we got home from our trip we found out that Brandon was not doing very well at all. We were able to go up and see him and we will always remember the strength and bravery Alison and Todd showed as they explained what was happening and let us meet our newest family member.  They had a certain courage about them, and it was the kind of strength that you can't only see, but you can feel just being around them… and they remain this way, even to this day.

Unfortunately, Brandon was only here for a short time… after a brave fight Brandon passed away in May in the arms of his mother, father and two sisters. We had all gathered together as a family and were present when he took his last breath. It was extremely hard to watch our sister and brother go through that experience and we just ached for them because of their loss; and in the same sense, we wondered about how we would be able to handle such a trial. We were extra sensitive to the situation because we were about to have our own baby boy and, after such a major tragedy, we were concerned that our joy and excitement in having our boy would make the loss of theirs even harder for them.

But, being the type of people they are, they already knew of our concern and took it upon themselves to make sure that our experience was as special and happy as possible.  They showed us what it meant to forget about oneself and to lose oneself in the service of others. We will be forever grateful for how they handled their own extreme trial with courage, faith and continued love and service to others, because it has always given us a positive example on how to handle ours.

Along with the loss of our dear nephew, Brandon, another trial was already starting to appear on the horizon. During that same time Reed started noticing that he was losing more strength in his legs and having more numbness as he was walking to and from school. Reed was sent to see a neurologist and found that the bulge they had found in his spine in 2000 was now herniated, and they found he also had a degenerative disc disease. The doctor said he needed to have surgery soon or else Reed could have permanent nerve damage. The doctor knew Stacie was pregnant and wanted Reed to be there for her and the baby, so he scheduled Reed for surgery in June so that he could be in the healing process when the baby came.  

In June 2005 Reed underwent his first back surgery with a fusion at L5-S1. It was a hard recovery but the symptoms started to improve and strength started to return to his legs. It was hard for Reed as well because he had to have Stacie, who was almost 8 months pregnant then, help him in and out of bed, help him put his shoes on and she had to drive everywhere. It was also hard for Reed to have the neighbors watch as Stacie would carry in all the groceries and things inside from the car... while Reed carried in the car keys! If you know Reed, he’d never leave Stacie alone to do the heavy work, especially while pregnant, so being left helpless in that regard was challenging for him.

We often laid together in bed, neither one of us wanting to move, and laughed about the situation we were in. It was a difficult time but sacrificing for each other, despite being in pain ourselves, just showed how strong our love for one another had become. It also showed us how to be stronger when the other is weaker because we would both have our moments of each! (We would like to note that Reed now carries in more than just the car keys!)

  In August of 2005 our son, Payton, was born! He took his time with coming into this world and after 30 hours of hard labor and a few complications he joined our family. He was the biggest blessing we had in our lives and continues to bless our lives today!  He was the sweetest little baby and was always happy and smiling, making him the center of attention wherever we went.  He brought so much joy and happiness into our family.  

We feel that the Lord blessed us with Payton at this particular time because He knew that he could be the tough little cookie we needed and that he could have the faith and strength of dealing with the continued declining health of both his parents.  It definitely hasn't been easy but he has always made things worth fighting for.  He has a sweet and tender heart and still continues to be a pillar of happiness and strength for our family.

We knew that pregnancy could suppress the endometriosis from growing for a while, but we soon discovered that the pregnancy did not suppress everything. Stacie’s body had been through so much in such a short amount of time that it was unable to defend itself from multiple infections. She started having more upper respiratory infections and sinusitis that would not resolve, even after five different antibiotics. After four months of struggling with the infections, doctors ordered a CT scan and in late December and they found that her maxillary sinus was underdeveloped and was unable to drain properly. This was only propelling the infections she was having which were why the antibodies alone were not effective.

2006…

With increasing infections, abdominal/flank pain and a history of endometriosis and cysts, they performed an abdominal CT scan which revealed that Stacie had a cyst that had grown in her right kidney. It was benign and since she had already had so much happen it was decided that we would only monitor for any changes at that point.

Stacie was still getting sinus infections and doctors determined that her sinuses were abnormal and not able to drain properly, which was causing more infections. In February she underwent a sinus surgery to reconstruct her sinuses. She did not do as well with the surgery and was not recovering like they thought she would. During her follow appointment they discovered that scar tissue had grown and fused together, obstructing the opening they had just created. They ended up having to cut out the scar tissue right there in the office, which was very painful for her and a memory she wishes she could forget.

After removing the scar tissue her sinus problems seemed to do better but Stacie suddenly became sicker. She started running fevers as high as 104, had headaches and was vomiting. They diagnosed it as lymphadenitis, an infection within her lymph nodes.  We treated her for the infection but she was not responding well to the treatments. When she started getting weaker and started to faint we found ourselves in the ER. That is when they diagnosed her having Cytomegalovirus (CMV). In just weeks she had lost over 15 lbs., and it was already affecting her liver. She was put on bed rest for about a month trying to get her body back to normal. It was especially hard because Payton was still so small needed to be cared for was well as Stacie. Family came to the rescue and Stacie’s mom even came and cared for Payton while Stacie was down.

During the first week in July we moved from Cox Apartments to Park Plaza to help be assistant managers for our close friends.  Stacie came down with strep throat right before the move and soon after got extremely sick with a really bad kidney infection called pyelonephritis.  The doctor said that she had one of the worse cases that he’d seen.  She had to go in everyday for a week for IV antibiotics and fluids to help clear up the infection.

Throughout all of this Stacie continued to have pelvic pain and cysts. In August she had a cyst rupture and underwent her fourth laparoscopy. They found her endometriosis had progressed.

As if there wasn't enough happening at this point in time, the health problems continued… only this time Payton joined the unfortunate group. Through the year, Payton also had his fair share of sickness.  He had problems with his stomach and had several bouts of croup. After having several ear infections and upper respiratory infections Payton had a set of tubes put in his ears to help with the infections. He was brave and recovered quickly and in no time was back to his busy active self.

  

  

Through the months Reed’s back pain never fully improved after his fusion surgery. He was still experiencing pain from the incision on his hip where they had removed some bone to use for the fusion and he continued to have swelling around his back incision as well as muscle spasms and numbness. The doctor believed that his body was reacting to the metal used for the fusion and in November they determined that it needed to come out. He did improve a little bit after he recovered from that surgery.  

 Although so much continued to go on, Reed continued to work and go to BYU so that he could finish his classes/degree. Reed was still on weight/lifting restrictions and used a backpack on wheels to get around. During each class he would stand in the back of the classroom because he still could not sit for more than 15 minutes at a time.  It was very hard for him to walk from class to class fast enough to make it to class on time, and that semester Reed’s classes were spread throughout the large campus. Reed was fortunate enough to have his father, who worked for the university, take time out of his day to pick Reed up after each class and take him to his next class.  Reed was able to attend all his classes and finish that semester because of his father’s help. It was yet another example of how our family sacrificed and kept us going.  Stacie was so proud of Reed and his determination to finish school.

In December, Payton had become the sickest that he had ever been when he was diagnosed with RSV.  He was given nebulizer treatments and steroid treatments which we continued at home.  It was so hard to see our sweet little boy having to go through so much, but through it all he remained strong and happy... for the most part.

2007…

In an effort to find a way to decrease some of the abdominal and pelvic pain, Stacie had a cystoscopy done and they found that she also had interstitial cystitis; just another problem that was causing her to have constant, intense pain. She also started seeing a doctor at University of Utah where she underwent several weeks of trigger point injections to help control her increasing pain. She was brave, but having 12-15 injections in her abdomen each session was wearing on her and she had to take a break.

As a graduation gift for Reed, from Stacie’s parents, we went with Stacie’s family on a trip to New York. During the trip Stacie started to get really sick. When we got back we took Payton to his 2 year checkup and his Doctor noticed Stacie was not doing very well. After examining Stacie the doctor immediately called the hospital to let them know he was sending her over because he felt she was having appendicitis. We checked into the emergency room and within an hour Stacie was in surgery removing her appendix, which was massively inflamed and close to rupturing. During the surgery the surgeon called in her OBGYN doctor because of the extreme amount of endometriosis that he had found while removing her appendix. Her doctor came in and removed the tissue. We were able to get two procedures done at the same time which gave Stacie’s 5^th laparoscopy its own unique story!

We were not sure if it was because of leaving him in August for our trip or if Stacie having another surgery had stressed him out more, but Payton ended up getting really sick again and we had to do another round of nebulizer treatments and steroid treatments as he was again diagnosed with RSV.

  

2007 was another eventful year, but this time we were able to end it with positive milestone. After enduring so much and trying to keep up with everyday life, Reed was able to graduate with bachelor’s degree in Exercise Science from BYU. It was a major accomplishment for our family and yet another blessing in our lives!

2008…

Stacie continued to have some infections and sinus problems and in February she saw a new doctor. He found that the first surgery had never completely corrected the sinuses and that another surgery was needed to be done to correct the septum and reconstruct the sinuses. The surgery went well and although she had her scar tissue fuse again, this process seemed to go much more smoothly.

In May she underwent her 6^th laparoscopy and tried a lidocaine pump that she had in for a week as a way to manage the pain.  The results of that laparoscopy lasted for a few months but after the pain quickly intensified they found that she had another cyst rupture and that another needed to be removed.  

In Aug 2007 Stacie went in for her 7^th laparoscopy surgery. It was amazing and alarming with how quickly her endometriosis had continued to return and how fast it was progressing. It seemed to be consuming her and destroying everything in its path.  But through it all she remained positive and Payton was a big reason why. He was always concerned for his mom and dad and couldn't wait to see mom after surgery. He loved to climb into bed with her to cuddle from the moment he walked into her room to the moment we would have to leave.

We had another eventful year and although rough, we made it!  We were spoiled at the end of the year because we were fortunate enough to go to Hawaii with Stacie's family during Christmas where we were able to get away from everything and enjoy just being together. The fact that we were snorkeling in tropical water and hanging out on the beach rather than shoveling snow and avoiding black ice seemed to help as well.

 Although, we had such a… let’s just say… interesting first few years as a family, we have always felt so blessed and thankful for all of our amazing family and friends and all of their continued love and support.  We have felt the Lords loving hands throughout it all.  In writing down all of our history, it’s made us realize just how much we have been blessed and  we've been able to see the small and big tender mercies that the Lord has blessed us with.  At times, it may have been harder to see and feel that, but we know that without the love of our Savior and the many, many thoughts and prayers by those surrounding us and lifting us up, we would not be who we are today!